A Choice I can’t Make; Thoughts on Sea Cadets

 

I joined Sea Cadets when I was 10 because my sister loved it. And at first, I did too. Those first few years were full of friendship and laughter, learning and teaching. I learnt more than I ever thought I could do; How to sail, how to row, how to be a learner. I learnt who I was.

But then, I guess, I grew up. And I saw the side of people I hadn’t seen when I was younger. It started with the old C.O, when he came back. He just didn’t care, and started knocking the unit backwards, almost trying to destroy it. It took 3 years, but finally someone listen to our cries for help, and he was told to leave.

That’s where the new Commanding Officer comes in. When he joined, I thought he would be amazing for the job. Don’t get me wrong, I love him. He’s lovely, funny and kind. But he just isn’t what we need. In my unit, we need a C.O that doesn’t just run the unit, we need one to control the staff.

Control the staff? Yes, that’s what’s needed in this unit.

I became a staff member about 10 months ago, the day after my 18^th birthday. I became staff because I want to help other cadets to develop and find themselves. I wanted to help them in any way I could, and help them for their future. You would have thought every instructor was there for that reason.

But no.

There are instructors in my unit that are not there for the cadets. They are there for selfish gain, to brag to others that they are in a charity. But they spend the time at the unit drinking tea and causing arguments, sat in the staff room….and not teaching.

Really. I will give an example. Last Friday, we were missing the 3 senior members of staff. From the second one instructor came in, I knew she was looking for a fight. She managed to reduce one person to tears BEFORE the cadet night actually started. She did this by yelling at her in front of every cadet there.

Shouting in front of cadets. No. you do not do that. You are an instructor, act like one.

So I went to try and stop this, and said instructor then turned on me. I will point out she is twice my size and shouting in my face. Yeah. Aggressive. I was really scared, as I had no one there that would stop her. So I ended up locking myself in the office for half the night, because I really didn’t trust her temper.

All this time, there was a classroom with 10 cadets inside, waiting for someone to teach them. But did the other instructor? No. she sat and drank tea. Once I calmed down, I went straight into the classroom, tear streaked and taught a lesson.

I can’t face going into cadets tonight, even though it means I am letting the cadets down. Because I now can’t trust the other staff to work with me and to keep their temper.

And this is where it gets sadder. This is not the first problem I have had with other staff in the unit. And I am getting to the point of not being able to go in at all.

So I am now stuck. Cadets used to be a place I loved, but now I just go because I don’t want to let the cadets down. I get so stressed there, and I lose sleep.

So what do I do? Do I end my 10 years of being involved? Leave without a look back like my head tells me to do, or do I stay and hope that one day (hopefully soon) the instructors that ruin the unit leave and it will once again be the place I love, like my heart tells me to do?

Lies I was Told In School

Every person has to be educated, but not all things you are told in your school are right. This is what I know to be wrong now…

1)      There are nine planets-

Lies. There are only 8 planets, as Pluto is now seen as a dwarf planet (or something.) all those years I spent looking at the sky, muttering the planets in order under my breathe…everything is wrong!

2)      I before E except after C-

That’s Weird. At the height of my education, (i.e, before year Eight) this was one of those rule you were taught in English. But now I am Eighteen I can see this rule is irrelivent.

I could go on, there are so many words that it doesn’t work for. But imagine if your name was Keith, or Sheila, and learning this rule…they would think their own names were spelt wrong!

3)      You will need maths and science (and history, drama, dance…music…geography…) in later life-

Yeah, people who become teachers will need it, but unless you become something like an actor, mad scientist, most of the stuff you learn you will never use. Unless you chat people up by walking up to them and saying ‘Hi. Did you know that the north star is the brightest star in the sky? Well, it’s a lie, you are the brightest star.’

To which they will reply ‘Actually, the brightest star is Sirius.’

Just Gaining Books

Back in June of last year, I posted about the numerous bookshelves in my room. Looking back at it the other day, I notices how much they had changed, so decided to redo the post…because I now have about 100 more books!

This is the first post- http://boxofthoughtsblog.wordpress.com/2012/06/25/books/

 

My new ‘favourite shelf’’. It still has Harry Potter, and the Mortal instruments, and the Hunger games, but a bunch of new books have appeared as well. Trudi Canavan and Julie Kagawa are both on there, currently on my ‘I NEVER WANT TO PUT THESE DOWN!!!’ list. Divergent has ended up in my head, and I can’t not think about the world in which it is set (read it.) Oh, and the space on the top shelf is because I am rereading City Of Bones…

 

 

 

The pile of books I used to have has all been moved around, and is now in an empty drawer. This is kinda my ‘books I like but not as much.’ Or for books I don’t have anywhere else to go. Beautiful Creatures…I don’t know what to think about it. I hated reading it…but liked the idea. And the Time Travellers Wife and the Forest Wife are hidden in there because I can’t read them without crying!

 

My old ‘Historical section’ has pretty much gone. These shelves are just packed full of books I like too much to get rid off, but not enough to read a lot.

Well, I still have Twilight just to laugh at it….

Why I Don’t Like Fairy Tales

 

Hmm…reading the title, you might think I’m just grumpy and don’t like magic, or love or anything like that. I do.  But every time I see a fairy tale, I just want to scream and burn it. (not literally, people, don’t worry.)

Here are my top three reasons why:

 

1)Once upon a time in a land far far away… Its so generic. A time would be helpful, so you can imagine in your head what everything would look like. And a place. What accents do they have? Are the characters British, American, French? Or is it an initially different world? What language do they speak? (yeah, you can really see my writing side come through, cant you?)

2)Prince Charming… And the princesses. What annoys me about these are that the princes are always handsome, tall, and daring, and the blonde princesses who cant seem to look after themselves. They meet each other once and fall in love, but why? They don’t know anything about each other (well, Prince knows Cinderella’s shoe size) so that means they love each others looks, not personality.

3)And they lived happily ever after…I’m pretty sure you can all guess why I hate this. Who lives happily ever after really? Do they not suffer from illness? Don’t they loose anyone?

 

-breathes-

 

This is the kind of fairy tale I like, in the words of  Terry Pratchett:

“And then Jack chopped down what was the world’s last beanstalk, adding murder and ecological terrorism to the theft, enticement and trespass charges already mentioned and all the giant’s children didn’t have a daddy any more. But he got away with it and lived happily ever after without so much as a guilty twinge about what he had done. Which proves that you can be excused just about anything if you’re a hero, because no one asks inconvenient questions.”

 

 

10 Literary Characters I Can’t Help But Love

There are always characters in books you love. It doesn’t even have to be a main character, just one in the side-lines that captures your heart. Hey, they don’t even have to be ‘good’ characters. Here are mine-

10)Count Olaf (Series of Unfortunate Events)- Starting off with a strange one.  How can you not love this man?! He spends 13 books trying to steal money from people, and is always stopped by three children. He is so stupid, but so ridiculously funny, you have to love him.

9) Draco Malfoy (Harry Potter) – A lot of my friends can’t stand Draco, and I can see why, but I cannot help but love him. Here is a boy who never had a choice. From the moment he was born, his future was written from him, by a family following Voldemort. Everyone expected him to join the Death Eaters too- and he never got the chance to say no. I first started loving him in the Half Blood Prince, because you suddenly realise that actually, he isn’t the stuck up boy you thought he was in the first few books (cue quote. “My Father will hear about this!”). He was ordered to kill Dumbledore by The Dark Lord to restore Voldemort’s trust in his family. But he didn’t want to do it- He couldn’t kill the old man, even when there was nothing really stopping him. Not the only thing Malfoy didn’t do. When the Trio got caught, he could have told his aunt who Harry was, but he didn’t.
There is a lot more to his character than you realise, and I’ve always found it sad that it was the way he grew up.

8 ) Addie (The Two Princesses of Bamarre)- This will always be one of my favourite children’s books. Although I will admit now, I still cry when I read the end. Addie’s development though the book is great. At the start, she is afraid of a lot of things, and shy. Despite this, when her sister becomes ill with ‘The Grey Death,’ she realizes she has to save her, and goes on a quest for the cure. She over comes her fear of spiders, she kills a dragon; she does everything she can to save her sister. Now that is what I call sisterly love, and that’s why I love her.

7) Abel (The Storyteller)- If you haven’t read this book, do. And if you have, and you are staring at me like I am mad for loving Abel, stop! How can you not love him? This is a character with a really bad past, and with a slightly messed up present, but that is part of why I love him. Everything he does, he does to look after his little sister. He wasn’t evil; he was just desperate to keep her safe.
Seriously, this is one of my favourite books, but I can’t actually read it because it breaks my heart.

6) Akkarin (The High Lord)- Throughout the
last book of the Black Magician trilogy, you learn a lot about this character, and start seeing him from a different point of view to the previous two books. Yeah, I know its intentional, and I fell for it. I have to love him. Everyone in the book thinks he is a traitor, because they don’t understand what he did- and even when all the people he knows hate him, he still fights for them. He never gives up.

5) Isabel (Shiver)- She is so sarcastic, if funny. And she is hardcore. How many people would steal infected blood, break into a lab with a wolf and not be scared? But that’s not the only side of her, she cares about other people, even if she doesn’t show it.

4) Four (Divergent) – This guy is epic. He can throw knives, shoot a gun, and only has four fears. It may not be true bravery, but still, he’s brilliant. He has a messed up past, which can- and does- affect him in the present, but he’s still really sweet. And he doesn’t treat Tris like a weak girl, but he proves that he actually needs her, in his fear room, and later on in the book. If he were real, I would hunt him down and marry him. Just saying.

3) Celaena (Throne of Glass)-  I don’t know why I love this character. I think it’s because of all the hardships she has been through before the age of 19. Brought up to be an assassin, captured, injured, hated, feared, she just takes everything on board. She doesn’t even truly hate the people who locked her away, she just accepts it. You learn about other people with the same fate as her, they barely last a month, but she lasted a year locked away, and survived with her sanity. Strong willed- and a female.

2) The Weasley Twins (Harry Potter) – ok, These are actually two characters, but I love them both equally. They are the light in the dark of the books, when I read them, these are the two characters I look forwards to reading about. They make me laugh, smile, they remind me to care about my own siblings…because you never know how long they are there for.
On that note, WHY, JK, WHY? You broke my heart. Fred. That is all I can say. Fred.

1) Bellatrix Lestrange (Harry Potter) – Ok, now I’m sure I’m getting weird looks. I’m not mad, honest. I just love Bellatrix. (I will point out that my dog is names after her…) She is a brilliantly made character, and even though she is a baddy, she is the ultimate baddy. Even better than Voldemort.  She has no issues about killing, and that is her downfall. She is insane. But still, there is something about her that I love.

That was actually a lot harder to write than my hated characters. You know why you hate characters, but you have to look deeper to understand why some capture your heart and mind while others don’t.

Anyone think I’ve got any wrong?

10 Literary Characters I Can’t Help But Hate

We all know about these characters. Weather you hate them because they are the epitome of evil, or because they are really badly written characters, we all have them. So here are mine-

10) Harry Potter- Don’t get me wrong. The Potter books are still my favourite, but I do hate the main character. The problem I have with him is that, at the age of 11, he ‘beat’ Voldemort. But he didn’t, not really. Ron was the one who got them past the chess set; Hermione’s brains got them through the other stuff. And Harry Mothers love was the thing that destroyed Quirrell.  This happens throughout all the books- Harry becomes well-known for ridding the world of the Dark Lord, but it wasn’t just him! He could never have found all the parts of You-Know-Who’s soul without the other two. I think they are the real heroes of the story, and I don’t think they get enough credit.
Oh, and Harry just shouts and whines at everyone about his life. He annoys me.

9) Regin (The Black Magician)- I can’t actually explain why I don’t like him, it’s not just because he is a bully. Even in the Traitor Spy books when he is ‘nice’ I don’t like him. I think it’s because I don’t like people who use power over others to make them feel meaningless, and that’s what he does as a bully.

8) Edmund (The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe)- I don’t mind him for the rest of the books, it’s just this one. Because he is horrible to Lucy, lying to her, betraying his own family. I know it’s not exactly his fault, the witch finding him first, but he could have been nicer to his sister.

7) Kitniss (the Hunger  Games)- Love the books, hate the character. Yeah, she volunteered herself to save her sister, but I hated the way she treated Peeta and Gale.  All she does for the book is whine about her boy problems, and then uses the guy who actually loves her just so she can survive!

6) Caleb (Insurgent) – WHY, CALEB, WHY? Literally all I can say. I liked him in Divergent. He seemed to be a caring brother (although a bit bossy),  but in Insurgent, when the truth came out about him, I hated him. Who could do that to family. I don’t care about the saying ‘Faction before blood’. SHE’S YOUR SISTER!
Anyway. I hate him.

5)The King (Throne Of Glass)- this is actually one of my favorite books now, but I hate the king. Part of it is that the main character, an assassin, is caught, and you get her sense of fear of this man. But as the story goes on, I hated him more and more just because he was mean, evil. He did things just to have the power over people- and punished anyone who disobeyed him. Untrustworthy and evil…

4) Bella Swan (Twilight)- where do I start? I think, if the books were better written, and the characters developed, Bella could be a half descent character, but alas…
What makes me hate Bella is The way the writing is in her POV.  Example

  “After he left, I sat at the old square oak table in front of the three unmatching chairs and examined his kitchen, with its dark paneled walls, bright yellow cabinets, and the linoleum floor.”

Really, Bella, how interesting is your life? She talks about every small thing she does, like eating cereal. Also, she’s a really weak female. It annoyed me that she broke down when Edward left. He is just a guy, Bella. You don’t actually need a boyfriend to live. (I am proof of that!)

3) Edward Cullen (Twilight)-  I’ll keep this short. I promise.  First of all. Sparkly vampire? If you are going to be a vampire, be a real one. The problem I have with Edward is that I hate him so much I find it funny. If I read the books, I just laugh through them. Edward is creepy. He watches Bella when she sleeps (I’m laughing while writing this)…and she does even seem to mind. He basically admits to stalking her. Not what a guy should do. But he gets away with it, because he is Edward, he is a vampire. I have the same thing with him as I do with Bella. The minute he thinks she is dead, he goes to commit suicide. SHES JUST A GIRL. Again, you don’t need one to live.

2) Ginny Weasley (Harry Potter)- Before I say anything to make someone want to kill me, I like the book Ginny more than the film Ginny… But they are still both bad. The reason I hate her is because she never developed. I always got the sense that she was just there for Harry to love. And I didn’t get why he loved her. If I were Harry, I would have gone for Luna. Ginny is…empty. Other characters in the book, you get a connection with, but I didn’t with her. That’s why I hate her…because unlike other characters, she isn’t a person in your head; she is just a name on a page.

1) Professor Umbridge (Harry Potter)- This is the good kind of hate. A villain that makes your blood boil. Just hearing her name makes me want to scream…in a good way. Umbridge is a fantastic character. She is believable, but evil. The great thing about her is that at the end of the 5^th book, when she is in the Hospital Wing, You feel real satisfaction for what happened. You want to talk to the book and go ‘HA! That’s what you get for messing with the Potter gang!’

So that’s my list. But what other characters should be on there? What characters do you all hate?

Dont Judge A Book By Its Cover

Once upon a time, there was a boy called Kris. I met him around the ages of 8 or nine, when my sister first joined Abingdon Sea Cadets.
The first memory I have of him was when we drove round the corner to the unit and he came running up, waving a bugle (it’s an instrument, people) in the air, saying ‘Have you seen my mouthpiece?’ He had dropped it while marching, and in all the leaves and dirt on the road, no one could see it.
I can’t remember if they ever found it again…

Kris became one of our family, he became my brother. Soon after my 10^th birthday, I joined cadets, and I remember, for the first year, all the funny ways Kris had of teaching us. While teaching about parts of a rifle, he stood in the centre of the room, throwing it in the air. While teaching us about the colour routine, he talked about ‘make sure you hold you pinkie out like your drinking a posh cup of tea.’

There was a darker side to him though, a side you didn’t see as a cadet. He didn’t get on with his family, and ended up, when I was 11, moving in with us. I loved this. Kris spent his evenings teaching me how to bake cakes (he failed at that, cooking is not my strong point), racing me on his X-box at the game SSX3- that was, on his good days. Sometimes he would come home and shut himself away in his room, refusing to talk to us. He suffered from depression, it wasn’t his fault.

I remember the last Christmas we had with him. We spent the evening tying each other up and trying to escape, talking pictures of us doing stupid stuff. That’s how I remember Kris. Smiles, laughter and an amazing brother.

Some of you will be reading this with a sense of déjà vu. That’s because I put a post up about Kris a few months ago. But I’m not really posting this about Kris himself, but what happened after he died.

Kris died while he was living in a youth hostel. He died of a drug overdose, at the age of 18.

It’s sad how quickly someone who made a big impression on your life can disappear from the world.

This year, 6 years after he died, I am sat at college, writing this. In  a state of shock, and anger at some people in the world.

You see, I am doing a small health campaign for my college on drugs.  I thought it would be good to do it from my point of view- how drugs ruined a person I cared about. So I looked it up on google…and found this:

http://kipeducation.com/blog/?p=166

I was so angry. Reading it, I got more and more annoyed. Here’s why

‘Preece was a lord-lieutenant cadet in the Sea Cadets, so the juxtaposition sits nicely. The upstanding young man, a credit to his family, led astray by these degenerate celebrities and their scuzzball lifestyles.’

He was upstanding, a credit, but this person who wrote about him too Kris at face value. He saw in the newspapers what was said, but we all know the papers don’t say everything. He didn’t know everything else about Kris.

‘Does this sound like the kind of process that an otherwise stable human being would enter into’

Well, that’s just downright rude.

Oh, but this is the best bit-

‘And on the subject of stuff that will get you killed, he was also in the Sea Cadets, a gateway armed force that sucks impressionable teenagers into the harder stuff, like the Royal Navy.’

I’m sorry, WHAT?

Yes, Kris was a sea cadet, well done. But we, as Sea cadets, do not force teenagers into the Forces. We actually have no steps from cadet to Navy. If they want to join up after becoming old enough, they can, but can I just say, in a unit of 30 cadets, only 2 of them are even thinking of joining up.
On that note, Cadet Forces are there to  help teenagers with disciple, responsibility and help them grow up. It gets teens off the street and doing something good with their lives, getting qualifications.

As he said, we shouldn’t blame people drinking and doing drugs on celebs, so we shouldn’t blame it on this like cadets.

Kris was an amazing cadet, and he inspired so many others that were there when he was. He taught me almost everything I know, and he is the reason I am still there. And I will point out something that no website I found had put- he had quit cadets before starting to take drugs.

I know other websites mean well, taking a real life situation when talking about these things, but they should take the family and friends into account. And get facts right, that would be helpful.

I’m sorry, this turned into a bit of a rant, but this young man who died, and he was, to me, family. I think about him every day, and it hurts me to know that out there, people make judgments on him because of a mistake that cost his life.

The meaning of Christmas

Hey everyone.
I hope you all had a good Christmas…no matter how wet it was!
I had a conversation with a friend yesterday about Christmas. Her parents were rather unfair to her- her brother got a car…and she got a tube of Smarties with ‘I’m sorry, I tried.’ on it.
She was furious. But my view on Christmas is that it isn’t about the presents. I love watching people open things I have given them, seeing their faces light up. Yeah, I’m happy that I got what I got (a Harry Potter Hoodie saying ‘Muggle’ on it, and my new writing laptop.) but I could have coped without them.
Christmas is about family. Having the people you love and care about around you. Christmas is about jokes, food, chocolate, turkey. For me, at least.
I have a three day Christmas. Christmas day with my parents and sister, Boxing day with my mums godparents (Who is the best cook ever) and the 27th with my grandparents. After this much socialising, I cant take any more…and I cant eat for days after either!
Christmas is also for religion. Jesus’s birth for Christians, Yule for pagans, a tim for pray and reflection and for giving and remembering.

But what is Christmas’s meaning for you?

Help! My Head Is Stuck In A Room Of Books

I went into the town centre today, thinking of some last-minute presents for other people. But then I saw this in the bookshop, and couldn’t resist buying it.

The Dark Heroine, by Abigail Gibbs.

For those of you who follow these things, you may recognise it from a few newspapers and websites over the last couple of months. Abigail started out on Wattpad, an online writing and reading website. The good thing about sites like Wattpad is that when you get people telling you to ‘Write more, it’s amazing!’ you want to.

Now, I am a part of Wattpad, but I joined after Abigail’s offer was done, so I never read the book online. So I went out and bought it.

I have heard mixed reviews of the book, some people love it, and some people hate it. But you have to remember, Abigail is 18- the same age as me! This is her first book, and I think that is pretty well done for someone so young.

I will start reading it tomorrow.

And more about books!

‘Black Magician Trilogy’ by Trudi Canavan .

Spend a week reading all of these books. I remember reading them back when I was 12, and I still love them…and they still make me cry. The characters are all wonderfully developed, believable, you end up loving them and wanting to meet them (the nice ones, at least). They follow the life of Sonea, a young girl from the slums of the city, as she finds out she has magic, and battles between learning, and not being caught by the people she fears.

I am now trying to find the books in the Traitor Spy Trilogy, from the same author, so I can read them as well.

In the cinema the other day, going to see The Hobbit (note, amazing film, I loved it), I saw a poster about a book from Lemony Snicket.

Anyone who has read these-

The Series of Unfortunate Events- will know why I am so happy about this. They may be children’s books, but they are really clever, funny and heart-warming.

So when I saw he had this book coming out ‘Who Could it be at This Hour?’ I smiled. I am going to get this book. (Even though my dad rolled his eyes at it, I know he will read it too.)

And finally, my own book. People who follow my other blog, Imagination of Mine, will notice the lack of activity recently. This is because I have decided; Captured Souls is going to be written under wraps. I will leave the prologue up, but the rest…well, you are just going to have to wait. I am having far too much fun writing it.
However, fear now. My poetry will be making a comeback.

I will leave you with my favourite line from Captured Souls (so far) – “The Guild of Assassins do not kill for fun. They may have fun killing, but it is not the same. Murder is just a job, my dear warlock. So if you have someone you need to be…eliminated, please, my workers will happily take up the task.”- The Guildmaster.

The perils of being left handed.

Hey everyone. I am River, and I am Left Handed.

But what does this mean?

Myths And Fact

August 13th is “Left-Hander’s Day”

Passing and pouring wine with the left hand is seen as unlucky.

Toasting someone with your left hand curses them.

Itching your right hand means you will get money, itching your left means you will have to give out money.

Evil spirits hand around behind your left shoulder.

The devil is seen to be left-handed.

More likely to be insomniacs (I never sleep. Maybe this is why…)

Left handed people are the only ones right in the head. (Sorry, I had to say it). The left side of the body is controlled by the right side of the brain, that’s why.

More likely to be driven to drink.

On average, lefties die 9 years earlier than righties.

Religion

In Christianity, blessings are given with the right hand.

In the bible, there are more positive right-handed comments than left- and more negative about left hands than right.

Facts

I remember these from school. Right handed scissors were always red.

We get left-handed scissors!

Computer keyboards put most common keys on the right hand side.

Camera buttons are normally on the right side. Left handed people need them on the left side!

On the plus side

Left handed people are more likely to be geniuses

They are more likely to be better at 3D perception and thinking.

We have an advantage in some sports, like tennis

Better at one to one fighting (I am not encouraging this) as righties will expect ‘right handed’ moves.

 

In conclusion

It doesn’t look good for me, does it? Not that I mine. I am in the minority. Leftie, and proud!